Directing your energy and intention toward a goal or objective can help you create optimal experiences. Additionally, when your thoughts and actions are aligned with what energizes you, you can reduce any confusion or friction between your heart and mind to experience more joy and fulfillment.
Author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called this state “flow,” when your actions and awareness are merged as one, and you can fully concentrate on a task with effortlessness and ease. The ability to do this enables you to work with your belief system, transform your mindset, and unlock your potential.
Discerning between what is and what is not in your control.
Carl Jung aptly stated, “What we resist persists,” and posed that the more you fight against what is objectively true, the more of it you bring into your awareness and life. By understanding and accepting your limits and surrounding restrictions, you can shift your mindset to focus on what is in your control rather than deliberating on what’s not.
Furthermore, remaining in the present moment can help you regulate your emotional state and reduce automatic reactions when triggered. Because your system is dynamic and responsive to what is happening in and around you, how you’re feeling is constantly changing. Remaining calm and grounded during conflict—inner or outer—is complicated. Even unmet physical needs affect how you interpret what you see and hear, like being hungry or tired, and when under pressure, you can quickly go into “survival mode” and snap at those around you.
The more you pay attention to what’s happening inside of you, the more you can create space to assess a situation versus falling victim to your instinctual behavioral patterns and defenses. Harnessing the power of INTRA-communication can help you work through opposing thoughts to remain level-headed and objective and adjust as needed.
An empowering approach to change.
Your greatest tool is your capacity to choose how you want to be and show up. Each moment offers you the opportunity to choose—and choose again—meaning at any time, you can tap into your highest expression, rewrite your narrative, and elevate your personal brand.
Reinvention involves reflection, compassion, and commitment to look at what’s working and what’s not while letting go of strict rules and limiting beliefs preventing you from moving forward. When you take accountability for your actions and inactions, you’ll begin to have a sense of understanding and influence over a situation, whereby you can feel more confident in who you are and your capabilities.
Here are seven ways to take back control and transform your mindset:
#1 Prioritize your focus.
Set clear goals and make a prioritized list that combines everything you want to accomplish, along with all your responsibilities and commitments to others. Then, select a few things—no more than three—and be realistic about what you can accomplish that day, no matter how the day unfolds. Start with the activity that will energize you the most and provide you the enthusiasm and fortitude to move through the rest of the list. Give unlimited focus and attention to each task, completing as much as possible, then move on to the next one. As needed, silence, block, or remove distractors, such as pop-up alerts and in-app messaging.
#2 Embrace self-care rituals.
Personal wellness is not just a “nice to have,” especially when faced with competing wants, needs, responsibilities, and commitments. Being deliberate in your intentions—before you start an activity and when you’re about to pivot to a new one—can help you maximize your energy and focus. Your capacity to remain present and grounded in your body enables you to function more effectively. Additionally, embracing the 3S’s—stillness, solitude, and silence—while distancing yourself and protecting yourself from negativity can help minimize stress.
#3 Befriend your inner voices.
Your inner voices are habitual ways of thinking about who you are and how you act. When your inner critic is loud, you may lose sight of all objectivity and live in an automatic reacting position. Hearing yourself think or say words like must, never, should, cannot, and should not are indicators that your belief system is running the show and potentially setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or others. As you become more aware of when your system is operating on autopilot, it will be easier to catch yourself, pause, assess, and determine how best to respond.
#4 Evaluate your belief system.
Your habitual belief patterns and instinctual behaviors influence what you see and experience. Your conscious and unconscious filters—“cognitive distortions”—can generalize, twist, block out, and delete information. “Letting go” is about discovering what’s holding you back and freeing yourself from the burdens you’re carrying, like ruminating thoughts, triggered emotions, or survival behaviors. You do not need to know HOW to let go. You just have to be WILLING to say goodbye to what’s troubling you, which includes accepting all parts of yourself, reclaiming your authority, and redeploying that energy for something you deem important.
#5 Mediate internal conflict.
Many inherent contradictions and forces coexist within the human mind, where the energy ping-pongs between various polarizations. To create balance and alignment, your desires, values, and goals must be congruent with your outward persona and actions. Deep Coaching and Internal Family Systems (IFS) are two effective methods to help you understand what is occurring inside of you so that you can process and find a workable solution, such as talking through challenges, minimizing judgment, and releasing discomfort.
#6 Be flexible in your thinking.
Challenging irrational beliefs—those rigid and absolute perspectives—with logical, known facts can help you navigate out of how you’d prefer something to be to what options are realistic for what is actually occurring. Rational thinking enables effective decision-making where you can gather information from various perspectives and apply sound methods of evaluating that information. Using your “left and right brain” can help you remain objective and creatively think through challenges while considering the impacts on others. Furthermore, you’ll be able to let others be who they are and use setbacks as inspiration to problem-solve, offer solutions, adapt, and deploy new strategies.
#7 Instill new supporting habits.
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” is a quote attributed to Vincent van Gogh that embodies how continuous improvements and simple, structured steps forward—whether big or small—can result in profound change. Staying calm and focused while aiming for progress, not perfection, takes dedication and practice. Balance isn’t a permanent state; it requires continual awareness and tweaking to create it, holding space for several emotions simultaneously. Finding what works for YOU is key. Recognizing what your system is asking for moment-by-moment allows you to give it what it needs so you can operate effectively.
Activate your best with those around you.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you connect with others. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to inspire you. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.