We create discomfort when we’re not being true to ourselves. Our internal system, desires, values, and goals must be congruent with our outward persona and actions for us to be at peace and connect to others.

Our energy ping-pongs between polarities when we’re out of alignment.

We then emit frenetic vibes into the ecosystem that are confusing and depleting for ourselves and those around us. In such conditions, I’ve noticed that nothing flows how I intended or would like it to be. I’m easily distracted into senseless activities and operating on “automatic pilot.” I’m essentially fixated on a target or the act of doing. If interrupted, I react hastily versus taking the time required to consider what was said before responding.

Our self-image and internal rules influence how we see the world.

The Enneagram, which is much more than archetypes and numbers, reflects an idealized self-image based on a deep, often unconscious need that motivates us. It exposes the story we tell ourselves about how the world works and what we can expect.

Further, our Type’s core motivation creates a specific focus of attention that determines what we will and will not notice. Our dominant survival instinct reveals how it operates when we’re stressed and living out of congruence.

It takes an intense commitment to change.

Collectively, the Enneagram framework invites us to be more aware of our blind spots and triggers, and provides healthy strategies to find more balance and eliminate conditioned behaviors that no longer serve us.

If you also struggle with this at times, here are five techniques that have helped me align my inner needs and actions to live more congruently:

Calm your mind.

The easiest way to calm your mind is to listen to your breathing as you inhale and exhale. You’re brought back to the present moment and can center into your body and concentrate on what’s in your control instead of future-scenario planning or playing the what-if game. If are nervous, anxious, or angry, write down what you need to remember to clear your head and remove the pressure.

Attend to your body.

Check in with your body and notice the sensations. Get up, change positions, and move to relax and free any tension. A great acronym to remember in this situation is HALT—hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness—to detect how your system is doing. If you witness any of these, take a break. Get something to eat, vent, or reach out to a trusted friend. If you’re tired and can’t rest, do an activity that helps you rejuvenate.

Check in with how you feel emotionally.

Take the time to reconnect with your needs and emotions. Acknowledge and honor whatever arises. Consider the meaning behind them and have compassion toward yourself for any lessons learned. Give yourself the care and attention as you would someone else. If you’re still unable to process your emotions, talk them through with someone you trust.

Tap into what energizes you.

One of your most significant prospects for advancement is reinforcing your assets. When you enjoy what you’re doing, you can separate the results of your work from who you are as an individual. Having a clear sense of purpose fosters excitement and confidence. To gain insight into what makes you come alive, take the free Sparketype assessment, which illuminates what inspires and invigorates you, as well as what depletes you.

Embrace the paradoxes.

Many forces coexist within you. By appreciating these inherent contradictions, you can be honest and minimize shapeshifting to please others. As you unite your system and its parts—thoughts, beliefs, perspectives—around a unified goal, you remain open to what is rather than being fixated on specific outcomes. As a result, you can amplify your strengths and cultivate a personal brand that makes you feel like you.

Activate your best through awareness and understanding.

You can use various assessments to learn more about what makes you tick and integrate your thinking, feeling, and actions to strengthen your resiliency and ability to transform. If you’re looking for a partner to guide you, my approach is personalized and customized to meet you where you’re at in your journey. I’d be delighted to speak with you. You can schedule a free call with me using this link.

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