We often look outward to find solutions for whatever we’re facing, with the notion that someone else or something is at fault and they should fix it. Yet, that is rarely the case. Most times, it’s our “knee-jerk” reactions that make us seem irrational to others and present a sure sign that we’re out of synch with ourselves.
Another clue is when you feel you’re spinning on the proverbial rollercoaster or hamster wheel.
When you feel this way, turn inward to reconnect with yourself and find your balance. Balance is all about your three centers: head, heart, body. Each plays a distinct role in how you think, feel, and do. For most of us, one area is prominent and expressed the most, followed by the second and third. How we express ourselves equates to how we show up in the world. Overuse of an expression can come across as frenetic versus purposeful energy and action. Learn more about your centers of expression by taking the iEQ9 Enneagram assessment.
Effective transformation occurs when our head, heart, and body, aka our thinking, feeling, and action centers, are nurtured equally with constructive habits and routines. Here are a few potential scenarios with ways to develop balance and strengthen your resiliency.
THINKING – HEAD SCENARIO: “Overthinking, again and again.”
When you’re grounded in your thinking center, you’re able to reason and are open-minded and objective. However, when you’re deliberating on the same thing over and over again, you’re heading toward analysis paralysis. When this occurs, it’s crucial to make a change.
Tips to stop overthinking: Look to move into action even when uncertain. Slow down and listen to others’ concerns. Reach out to someone to talk through the options to get their perspective. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, write out the worst that can happen and how you would solve it if it came true. Better yet, focus on what the best possible outcome could be and take a small step in that direction.
FEELING – HEART SCENARIO: “Ignoring how you or others feel.”
When you practice compassion, you open yourself up to be more receptive and kinder to yourself and others. Learn to process situations by asking yourself, “How do I feel about this?” and “How will others feel about this?” Relating to and meeting people where they are at will enable you to cultivate deeper relationships and collaborate more.
Tips for processing how you feel: Take the time to stop what you’re doing or thinking and process how you feel. Practice empathy by considering what you would tell a friend if they approached you about this particular situation. How compassionate and understanding would you be? To deal with your emotions, have greater empathy for mistakes—both your own and others’. If you’re still unsure how you’re feeling about a particular issue, talk it through with a trusted friend or colleague to adopt a more rational and analytical approach in decision-making.
ACTION – BODY SCENARIO: “Why can’t I stop or slow down?”
When you listen and feel the sensations in your body and gut, you tune into your instincts and make things happen productively. If you’re impatient, impulsive, or acting before you think, stop what you’re doing. Take a step back and think through the action you want to take by allowing time to pass or talking it through with someone else. If you find yourself unable to pause for even a moment, with the need to fire back at someone or send that angry email, you’re overreacting. It would do a world of good to let whatever is festering sit for a while. Revisit it in a few hours, and if it still seems like something you should do, then move forward.
Tips to slow down and make time for yourself: Get up and move around and commit to a regular exercise routine or activity to shake off impulsive energy and minimize stress. When you’re working out of fear and not inspiration, stop what you’re doing. Take a 5-10-minute break and step away. To create balance, you must be still and create space between your thoughts and actions. That way, you can stop fighting with yourself, recalibrate, and be more calm, cool, and collected in your approach. If you enjoy planning, then schedule break times to relax and have fun throughout the day.
You’ll feel refreshed and reenergized when you find balance in your activities.
Create new habits that support you and strengthen how you handle situations outside your control. Check that you’re not resisting the change you want to make and use these five ways to get started on your change journey now.