Being aware of other people’s preferences and your surroundings can be beneficial when you’re looking to foster buy-in, collaboration, or engagement. Being open to other’s perspectives, with the intention of understanding and accepting their point of view, can cultivate meaningful dialogue and connection.

However, when you are too outwardly focused, you risk projecting your wants and needs onto others. Without proper discussion and negotiation, your expectations may be misguided and misplaced. Whenever you think, “Well, they should X,” that’s a hint that you’re passing judgment and could possibly be disappointed.

Refocus your attention and energy on YOU.

A great time to turn inward is when you lose sight of your priorities and are bothered by things outside of your control. Also, if you find yourself shapeshifting to others out of fear of losing the relationship or that your energy and joy have been replaced by frustration and exhaustion, those are additional signs to “hit pause and reflect.”

Another indication is when you are ruminating about one topic or person, where your emotions overwhelm you, and you can no longer see things accurately. At this point, you’ll want to calm your nervous system before your survival instincts deploy. Some automatic tendencies include people-pleasing to appease others and incessant complaining or finger-pointing to deflect accountability.

Turn insight into action using various techniques and assessments.

When we externalize an issue, we give authority to something outside of us. Going inward empowers you to take back control. Several tools continue to provide me with clarity and tactics for better balance and overall well-being. At the root of all of them is self-awareness, acceptance, and appreciation for all aspects of oneself by objectively observing and processing one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily responses.

Techniques include:

  • Deep Coaching. This therapeutic modality centers on a strong partnership and connection between the coach and client and is designed to meet the needs of those seeking profound change. The coaching process helps you slow down, tune into your inner wisdom, and shift your mindset and way of being.
  • Internal Family Systems (IFS). This model is based on the principle that the human system is comprised of multiple parts. This system includes a core Self that embodies our best qualities, and protective and wounded elements that proactively manage how we show up and handle life. In IFS, we help all of these parts heal by getting to know them and working through the issues and internal conflicts.
  • Meditation. From breathing techniques to guided meditation to tapping to release fixations, the simple act of stillness and quieting the mind can be magical. As a result, you can create space to see more clearly and impartially, minimizing adverse reactions when things don’t go according to plan.
  • Journaling. Writing your thoughts on paper or typing them up as a private mode of expression can help you recalibrate your perspective and feelings. Journaling can also help to free yourself from repetitive thoughts. You can use a writing prompt to help you address what you want to uncover, solve, or achieve.


  • Enneagram. The Enneagram gets at the heart of “why you do what you do” by exposing your core motivation and the resulting fears and behavioral patterns. These insights help you understand why you react the way you do and encourage you to proactively expand your mindset to manage your tendencies while adopting new approaches that support your advancement.
  • Myers-Briggs® Type Indicator (MBTI®). This personality inventory is based on Carl Jung’s theory that people of the same type have the same underlying impulses and world views. The MBTI® pinpoints your preferences and innate mental functions while providing ways to improve interpersonal communication, handle stress, and make more effective decisions.
  • Sparketype®. This assessment helps you discover the work that makes you come alive by illuminating your strongest impulses and underlying drivers for what energizes you. It also highlights the labor requiring the heaviest lift, where you may need an incentive or more recovery time. Coupled with a Spark Canvas workshop, you can outline what matters to you most to navigate career opportunities aligned with your values.
  • Emotional Quotient (EQ) Inventory. Emotional intelligence skills are critical for self-leadership, interpersonal relationships, effective human performance, and advancement. The EQ-i 2.0® and EQ 360® assessments indicate how you tap into the 15 EQ competencies and provide strategies to use and balance them for overall success.

Uncovering and letting go of what’s no longer serving you is liberating. By clarifying what is and what’s possible, you can shift your mindset and live more congruently.

Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are all interconnected.

Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you connect with others. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. To learn more, schedule a call with me.

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