Personality can be defined as the visible aspects of one’s character as interpreted by others—a total of an individual’s physical, mental, emotional, social, and behavioral characteristics.

Be aware of how others perceive you.

People make assumptions about you based on their experiences interacting with you. Whether you’re connecting online, over the phone, or in person, how someone else relates to you depends on how you come across physically, emotionally, and energetically, as well as their own core motivation and worldview.

For example, if you were interviewing for a job, some hiring managers may focus on your overall demeanor, expressions, and physical appearance, whereas others may tune into your words and how you make them feel.

Assess how you show up.

Reinvention involves reflection, compassion, and commitment to look at what’s working and what’s not and address any beliefs or behaviors preventing you from moving forward. As individuals, we have this remarkable capacity to flex, adapt, and change.

Mahatma Gandhi captured this eloquently:

“As human beings our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world, as in being able to remake ourselves.”

Align your internal system and outward persona.

When you’re in congruence, your desires, values, and goals are in harmony with your outward expressions and actions. You will radiate confidence and appear “calm, cool, and collected” and can listen more effectively, fostering trust and acceptance. The more open and honest you are, the less likely there will be confusion between what you say and how you say it.

Here are five aspects to consider when assessing how you’d like to make an impression:


Attitude comprises your demeanor, stance, and outlook on life. It includes how you feel about yourself and your possibilities, your ability to know and accept your strengths and weaknesses, your desire to be at your best with openness to improve, and how you regard and respect yourself.


Although this can seem superficial, for specific meetings, events, and circumstances, how you dress and compose yourself makes a statement. The amount of effort, even the perceived amount of effort, can also reflect your commitment to overall health, cleanliness, and well-being.

Body language.

As former football coach Lou Holtz stated, “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Consider your posture, stance, eye contact, and facial expressions. Ground yourself in your body and evaluate if your “state of being” aligns with what you’re emoting.


We all emit an energy and vibe. People will sense if you’re fully present and engaged in dialogue and make assumptions about whether or not they can trust you. This is also about recognizing your emotions’ subtleties and their impact on your thoughts and actions.

Tone of voice.

An essential element of communication is the tone, volume, and force of your words. Your tone can denote kindness and respect, meanness and disregard, flexibility and openness, or rigidity and close-mindedness. These are just a few potential conclusions others may make.

How you make others feel is equally important.

Dr. Porges, who created the Polyvagal theory, reminds us that although we live in a culture where people say, “It’s really WHAT I say and not HOW I say it that’s important,” our nervous system tells us something different. It says, “It’s NOT really WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it,” and how you make me feel while listening to you.

The good news is we have fifteen emotional intelligence skills that we can tap into and “amp up” or “dial back” dependent on the situation. Think about what you’d like to be known as and what you’d like to be known for and boost these three skills to elevate your interpersonal relationships.

Harness your YOU-ness and activate your best.

Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you act, think, and feel. To learn more about yourself and strengthen your interpersonal relationships, you can use these various assessments as the foundation for professional development and learning. My approach is personalized and customized. Schedule a call to learn more.

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