Leadership is determined by how you lead, i.e., how you present yourself, communicate, and motivate others toward a vision, mission, or goal. Additionally, leadership is measured by what you do or don’t do. For example, the actions you take to prioritize work and support others while delivering on your promises.
When you lead with “executive presence,” you project confidence and competence and can connect with others in a meaningful way. How people perceive you is shaped by their core motivation and worldview and experiences interacting with you, which includes making assumptions based on your communication style, demeanor, and how you express yourself.
Six core emotional intelligence skills to create impact.
MHS, Inc., the company that administers the Emotional Quotient (EQ) Inventory (EQ-i 2.0® and EQ 360®), emphasizes six core emotional intelligence skills for leaders to embody to create a positive outcome. They are:
- Self-Actualization. Trying to improve oneself and engage in meaningful activities.
- Reality Testing. Seeing things as they are and recognizing when emotions or biases cause you to be less objective.
- Self-Regard. Respecting and accepting yourself and being aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
- Emotional Self-Awareness. Discerning between your emotions and recognizing their influence on your thoughts, actions, and interactions with others.
- Social Responsibility. Acting responsibly and willing to contribute to the greater good and community.
- Independence. Ability to be self-directed and free from dependency on others to plan, decide, and complete tasks.
Knowing how and when to use these interconnected proficiencies is crucial for self-leadership, managing interpersonal relationships, building brand equity, and boosting overall performance and effectiveness.
Increase your leadership aptitude.
It’s common for your energy and emotions to fluctuate between “highs and lows” as you navigate your day, so learning to tune into your system’s needs and self-regulate is crucial.
Furthermore, harnessing your YOU-ness and integrating habits to be more present, patient, and open to new perspectives can help you strengthen your overall approach, connect with others in an authentic and harmonious way, and inspire others toward future possibilities.
Here are seven ways to expand your leadership capacity and outlook to make a positive effect:
#1 Amp up your communication approach.
You don’t need to speak fast or raise your voice to amplify your message. Instead, focus your mind and attention to allow what you want to communicate to flow naturally. Communication is much more than what you say and write. How you share information and the tone and manner in which you deliver your message, make a substantial difference in whether or not your message resonates and is clear, concise, and without contradictory thoughts. Magnify your message with words that carry a dynamic vibe and convey a mix of vitality and calmness, listen with positive intention, and apply rigor in your correspondence.
#2 Incorporate the 8Cs of Self-Leadership.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you act, think, and feel. To be viewed as a leader who lifts and empowers others, you must first lead yourself. You can enhance your abilities by devoting energy as well as kindness to yourself. This includes what Internal Family Systems (IFS) Founder Dr. Richard Schwartz stated: “Step into life with the eight Cs: confidence, calm, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, curiosity, and connectedness.” An IFS session is a therapeutic way to turn inward, garner insight, expand your intuitive capacity, and facilitate change.
#3 Balance out your “Centers of Expression.”
Author Jana Kingsford noted that “Balance isn’t something you find, it’s something you create.” What others see and experience are your “Centers of Expression” regarding how you think, act, and feel. Everyone has access to all three centers, and the iEQ9 Enneagram Assessment indicates which of your centers are expressed strongly, in what order, and which are potentially neglected. Furthermore, the energy and nature of your dominant center can influence whether others see you as a thinker, doer, or overtly emotional. You create balance when your head, heart, and body, aka thinking, feeling, and action centers, are nurtured equally with constructive habits and routines.
#4 Monitor your self-talk.
Thich Nhat Hanh asserted, “If you don’t communicate well with yourself, you cannot communicate well with another person.” Your internal monologue impacts how you approach daily activities, make decisions, and relate to others. Fostering an intra-personal connection is a prerequisite for external change. When you’re feeling out of touch or like an “impostor,” turning inward and working with your human design blueprint can provide insight into the root causes affecting your narrative. From there, you can work through issues holding you back with clarity and compassion and improve your well-being. The more you check in with yourself, the easier it will be to observe when you’re provoked so you can stop what you’re doing and self-regulate before responding.
#5 Work to sustain, not exhaust.
There will always be something on your to-do list and requests that distract you. Instead of treating your responsibilities and workload like a race, slow your pace, organize, and prioritize to sustain for the long haul and enable your teams to do the same. Knowing what affects your emotional state and decision-making, i.e., the triggers or events that activate them and how you currently handle them, can help you evaluate what you need to change and adopt strategies to handle stress better. Many things can cause you to feel overpowered or cognitively dissonant. For example, having too much to do, working outside your preferences, and performing in areas that naturally deplete your energy. Often, a lack of boundaries, the need to please, or the inability to say no perpetuates these sensations.
#6 Watch out for derailers.
The EQ-i also highlights four emotional intelligence competencies that can impede leaders if not used optimally. These are Impulse Control, Stress Tolerance, Problem Solving, and Independence. “Impulse Control” is the ability to resist or delay a drive to act and avoid rash behaviors and hasty decision-making. “Stress Tolerance” is the ability to cope with challenging conditions and the belief that you can handle circumstances in a positive manner. “Problem Solving” is about being able to find solutions and make decisions despite the emotions that are involved. And Independence is about being self-directed. The goal is to discover the ideal balance that works for the particular situation, keenly observing your surroundings and picking up on verbal and nonverbal cues from others.
#7 Invest in self-care and inner work.
Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists,” which is why investing in self-care practices is necessary. Personal wellness is not just a “nice to have,” especially when faced with competing wants, needs, responsibilities, and commitments. Being deliberate in your intentions—before you start an activity and when you’re about to pivot to a new one—can help you maximize your energy and focus. Caring for yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally means connecting with your wants, needs, and expectations. What you need to calm your mind, release tension in your body, and thrive is unique to you. Your inner guidance system holds your answers, which you can access in Deep Coaching sessions. Additionally, assessments, like the Enneagram, can help you turn insight into action by uncovering various blind spots and providing support strategies.
Thinking and talking about how you’ll change won’t make it happen.
To attain the reality you seek, you must experience and embody it. As Albert Einstein reminds us, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Through awareness, understanding, and releasing what is holding you back, you can take action and embrace new behaviors and characteristics to support your endeavors. Additionally, incorporating optimism into your outlook and enhancing your skills can propel you to new heights and inspire others to do the same.
Activate your best with those around you.
As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to get started. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.