Regardless of your age, what causes you stress, and your threshold for it will differ from others based on your primary instincts, belief systems, conditioned behaviors, and experiences. However, some usual suspects cause tension for most, like school, work, relationships, life changes, and financial issues.
Stress is your body’s reaction to any request or demand you perceive as a threat or unwelcome challenge. As a result, your body automatically releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol—“fight or flight responses”—that instantly push you to deal with the situation.
Different types of stress cause altered outcomes.
You’ve probably noticed variances in how you handle stress based on circumstances. For instance, if you’ve ever been in imminent danger, your body might have taken over entirely without thought. In contrast, self-induced pressure tends to be related to your belief system, where you feel compelled to act out, i.e., “I must/I should [fill in the blank].”
Also, anxiety can stem from negative energy hovering around you, concerns from others, or pending uncertainties like a job, family gatherings, or natural disaster, which can cause overthinking, rumination, and pessimistic scenario planning. Furthermore, parts of you may hold opposing views, initiating internal turmoil where you want to shut down, avoid, or deflect.
Your mindset and perception make a difference in your ability to adapt.
It is essential to know what affects your emotional state, i.e., the triggers or events that activate them and how you currently handle them. From there, you can evaluate what is and is not working so you can lean into more effective strategies. For example, establishing new habits that help you accept all aspects of yourself and shift your outlook.
Additionally, turning inward and embracing intra-personal communication are practical ways to minimize your burdens and attain a higher expression. To guide you, here are seven proactive approaches to becoming more aware of yourself:
#1 Work with your Internal Family System (IFS).
IFS is based on the principle that the human system is comprised of multiple parts. This internal family system includes a core Self and inner parts. Your core Self embodies your best qualities, can’t be damaged, and knows how to heal. At the same time, your inner parts show up as a managerial and protective system to handle daily life and all of its various aspects, including your wounds. Working with your system is an empowering way to discover more about yourself, release discomfort, expand your intuition, mediate internal conflict, and minimize your resistance to facilitate change and enhance how you show up and live life.
#2 Release strain based on your Enneagram profile.
The Enneagram showcases why you do what you do and offers specific tactics for individual growth. The system embodies nine interconnected personality types with distinct worldviews that merge with one of three instinctual behavior patterns, creating 27 subtypes with a specific focus of attention. All types are hardwired for survival and affect how you interact and relate to yourself, others, and your surroundings. Embracing your entire Enneagram profile—not just your Core Type—provides a pathway to see your blind spots and get control of your defense mechanisms so you can move from a single-minded relationship with your type’s identity to a more aware and objective stance, which can help you release strain.
#3 Identify when you need to self-regulate.
When you perceive something as a threat, your sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive, activates your automatic reflexes, and your survival instincts kick in. Self-regulation is about learning and listening to how you feel and managing your behavior and responses more effectively. This includes accepting what-is and bouncing back fast when things don’t go your way. Appreciating how your body is wired and what it needs are equally important, as often there can be a disparity between what you physically need and what you think you need that can cause friction.
#4 Identify common triggers with the MBTI®.
Your personality preferences play a role in what causes you tension. The MBTI® is based on Carl G. Jung’s theory that “seemingly random variations in behavior are quite orderly and consistent,” and calls out a hierarchy of energy related to four mental functions, which includes how you take in information (known as “Perception”) and make decisions (known as “Judgment”). Once you know your Type and order of preferences, you’ll be able to identify your least developed “Inferior Function” to pinpoint your triggers with strategies to manage them. This includes insight into how you perform under stress and what you need to keep in mind to reduce it for yourself and others.
#5 Balance out your EQ Stress Tolerance.
Stress Tolerance, defined by MHS Inc. in their Emotional Intelligence assessment, looks at how you deal with difficult circumstances and whether you believe you can positively influence the situation. Based on where you fall on the scale—low, medium, or high—you’ll be offered strategies to help you navigate discomfort and become more balanced. For Stress Tolerance, this entails integrating the following EQ capabilities: (1) “Emotional Self-Awareness,” which is about recognizing the subtleties in your emotions and the impact they have on your thoughts and actions, (2) “Emotional Expression” where you’re able to express your feelings verbally and non-verbally, and (3) “Empathy” respecting other people’s views and sentiments.
#6 Incorporate these 4Cs.
Feeling overwhelmed can seem like being caught under a tidal wave where you struggle to catch your breath above water. Many factors can perpetuate this sensation, including a lack of boundaries, the inability to say no, and working on tasks that deplete your energy. To minimize tendencies like this, incorporate these 4Cs more regularly: (1) “Center” in your body to ground yourself and calm your nerves, reminding yourself, “All will be okay; ” (2) “Clear” your mind and physical space before you start your day and throughout as needed, (3) “Categorize” your to-dos into manageable groups, and (4) “Complete” your priorities one at a time, crossing them off the list, before moving on to the next.
#7 Commit to self-care rituals.
As the proverbial airline message goes, “Put on your oxygen mask first before helping others,” which equates to ensuring your mind, body, and heart have what they need to be okay and ultimately thrive on a day-to-day basis. Embrace these 3S’ and whatever makes you feel strong and stable. This includes exercising to increase endorphins and release negative or stored-up energy, maintaining a diet with foods that energize, getting enough sleep, connecting with others, and strengthening your resiliency.
Finding what works for YOU is key.
We’re all interconnected in some shape or form, and there’s no one way to live or function, so experimentation is recommended. With focus and intention, you can become more self-aware and mindful, using what you learn to make adjustments to improve your well-being.
Activate your best with those around you.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you connect with others. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to inspire you. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.