Effective intrapersonal and interpersonal communication is a delicate dance between messenger and receiver. Whether conversing with oneself or another, both require skills like listening deeply, exhibiting patience, honoring different perspectives, and embracing silence.
People form assumptions about who you are from what they perceive—your words, tones, actions, and behaviors. Assessing what’s working and not working in your interactions can help you refine your approach to be more intentional and mitigate sending mixed messages.
Many factors influence how you communicate.
Your communication style combines inborn traits, like primary instincts, tendencies, and preferences, as well as environmental and cultural aspects, including what you have absorbed from others, your belief system and mannerisms, and what you have chosen to emulate.
Furthermore, how you talk to yourself impacts your self-worth and confidence. Your internal monologues integrate your conscious and unconscious thoughts and are comprised of various personas with distinct traits, capabilities, wants, and desires designed to keep you healthy and safe.
Inner Work facilitates awareness and acceptance.
Turning inward allows you to get to know your system bit by bit. It’s a form of self-care. Coupled with self-compassion, tuning into your system—even for a few minutes—can help you release physical tension, reduce mental agitation, and clearly articulate what you value, need, and want.
Here are six techniques to help you bolster your communication expertise:
#1 Get to know your triggers.
A trigger is an event or experience that activates your sensitivities or avoidance of your blind spots. You may discard or overlook them because they don’t fit with who you want to be or think you are. By uncovering yours, you can manage how you treat yourself and respond to others in conversation. In Internal Family Systems (IFS) Coaching, triggers are called “trailheads,” and by appreciating their purpose, you can work with them. Another great way to discover what activates your sensitivities and their related strategies is through assessments such as the Enneagram or MBTI®.
#2 Energize a shift in being.
If you want to make a change, you can think and talk about it. But unless you actually experience and embody the change you want to make, you will not get any closer to the reality you’re seeking. With a focus on slowing it all down and synching with life, Deep Coaching enables you to release your agenda and attune to your deeper self, enabling a shift in being. This includes letting go of limiting beliefs and welcoming new behaviors and characteristics that are truly felt and understood.
#3 Understand your unique Human Design.
Human Design is personality typing through a fusion of modern science and ancient wisdom. It integrates your chakra system, astrology, quantum physics, and knowledge from the I Ching and Kabbalah, offering insight into your definition, energy, and how others may influence you. Also, it provides you with a means to boost your intuitive capacity and reshape your narrative. For example, I have a Triple Split Definition, which can be translated as three different teams talking to me. Understanding these pulls in multiple directions reminds me to pause and assess how best to move forward.
#4 Embrace mindfulness techniques to alleviate stress.
This practice is about being in the present through breath and body awareness. Author Jon Kabat-Zinn shares seven attitudes in his book “Full Catastrophe Living”—non-judging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go—as essential components. These elements empower you to allow thoughts to enter your mind without holding onto them. You can see, trust, and accept things as they are, letting what needs to emerge or dissipate at its own pace.
#5 Elevate your word choice.
Your word choices have an impact on you and others. WHAT you say, HOW you say it, and WHEN you say it can transmit positive energy and be uplifting and inspiring, or can spread negative energy, demotivating and discouraging yourself and those around you. To amplify your voice, choose high-energy words that carry a dynamic vibe and add “oomph” to what you’re saying or writing. If you’re uncertain about the most relevant terms that evoke excitement and momentum, I recommend taking the Sparketype® assessment to attain clarity and language around what makes you come alive and what depletes you.
#6 Tap into your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skills are critical for self-leadership, interpersonal relationships, and advancement. The EQ-i 2.0® and EQ 360® assessments indicate how you tap into 15 EQ competencies and provide strategies to use and balance them for overall success. Managing your emotions while being aware of the surrounding vibe can help you express yourself more clearly and enhance your executive presence.
These techniques shine a light on various aspects of who you are and why you do what you do. Through awareness, appreciation, and acceptance, you can harness your YOU-ness and improve your communication for better results.
Deepen your perspective to activate your best.
As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. To learn more, schedule a call with me.