There are no steadfast rules when it comes to exploring career options. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s quote that begins, “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whatever you want to be…” is a friendly reminder that timing is relative.
Furthermore, what you think or feel about your current situation and future possibilities is subjective and a “matter of interpretation” heavily influenced by your beliefs and judgments. Having clarity around who you are and want to be, and what you value and need, can help you discern an optimal path forward before taking action.
Uncover what you’re longing for in a job.
Your interpretation of the world gives meaning to what you see and the stories you tell yourself. Furthermore, discovering what motivates you and understanding your assets provides insight into what your current situation may be lacking.
Asking yourself questions like, “What’s my dream role?” or “What’s the one thing I’ll regret if I never try?” can help you pinpoint potential focus areas. Additionally, identifying your primary Sparketype® offers insight into what type of work energizes you, with tactics to offset what requires a heavy lift.
Rational and realistic discernment is key.
Taking a calm, centered, and objective stance and remaining grounded in the reality of what is and what’s possible is paramount to reconciling your career ambitions and aligning your inner desires with your outward persona. For example, perhaps you’re missing a particular skillset, e.g., experience with X software or a personal requirement like a salary minimum or proximity to home. In those cases, you may need to postpone making a job change until you’ve closed the gap or the requirements are no longer necessary.
Alternatively, if the options are plentiful, and you’re unsure which direction to head, try gathering concrete data from various sources and viewpoints using the MBTI® Zig Zag Method. Then, you’ll be able to evaluate the effect of acting on each opportunity from a logical standpoint and by considering your decision’s impact on you and those around you.
Knowing the “why” behind your conundrums.
Depending on your age and life experiences, you may notice that what you find enjoyable is shifting. Moreover, your mindset, feelings, and thoughts may affect your willingness to change or welcome new outlooks.
Broadening your perception through “What if?” thinking opens you to different interpretations and enables you to accept that paradoxes can coexist.
Here are some perspectives on why you may be experiencing conundrums:
#1 Your stage in life.
Carl Jung emphasized that a person’s innate preferences do not change. Instead, the development of non-preferred areas leads to more choices and less rigidity. This is why you could notice shifts of interest and friction between what used to revitalize you and what no longer does. In his Stages of Type Development theory, Jung suggested that the first half of life, approximately childhood through mid-thirties, focuses on adapting to your outer world using your dominant and auxiliary mental functions, i.e., how you take in information and draw conclusions from it. As you go through mid-life, estimated at 35-55, your energy and attention shift as you welcome new curiosities from your tertiary mental function and become more aware of limitations regarding time and options. Then, through your second half of life, anticipated around 55+, your least dominant function, also known as the “Inferior Function,” becomes more conscious, and you become attuned to your inner world, i.e., self-discovery and understanding your true essence beyond your identities.
#2 Parts of you are in opposition.
Polarization exists when parts of you are in conflict, e.g., opposing values, wants, or beliefs. These parts often show up as feelings, sensations, or thoughts that are stuck in the past and deploy survival instincts to safeguard your well-being. For instance, you may notice your attention ping-ponging between two concepts, creating discomfort and hindering advancement. Like an external struggle between people, listening with positive intention to each part and ensuring they feel heard and seen is crucial for building consensus. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic way to turn inward, expand your intuitive capacity, and appreciate all aspects of yourself. During an IFS session, your coach guides you through creating a “Self to part” connection to establish a shared purpose and facilitate dialogue to discuss challenges, foster acceptance, minimize judgment, and release discomfort.
#3 Your needs or what you “expect” from others are unmet.
Instinctual needs are inborn drivers that prompt a particular behavior and shape your personality and expectations to support a fulfilling life. Your needs encompass many physical, emotional, and psychological facets, where you may become uncomfortable and anxious if unmet. The Enneagram explains how each type, with its core motivation, merges with one of three instincts, creating a particular focus of attention that affects how a person acts and relates to themselves, others, and their environment. These instincts are “hardwired” for survival. They are labeled “Self-Preservation,” which has a primary concern for survival and safety; “One-to-One” (also known as “Sexual”), which is focused on the intensity of experiences in relationships; and “Social,” which concentrates on fitting in with the herd or community. Additionally, the FIRO® system illuminates what you express to others regarding your needs and what you want in return. All of these assessments describe what drives your behavior and offer strategies to manage expectations and interactions with others more effectively.
#4 You’re stuck in a repetitive pattern.
Early on, your brain collects cues on who you should and need to be to fit in and belong. Instinctively, this perception trained your behaviors and how you think and approach the world, ultimately impacting your story and sub-stories. These narratives create recurring loops that may make you feel stuck, confused, scared, or act in self-sabotaging ways. These reappearances frequently are “conditioned” and embedded into your Human Design. Overcoming these behaviors and limiting beliefs can enable you to release subtexts that no longer serve you and reclaim authority, empowering you to rework your story.
#5 You’ve become more confident and accepting of yourself.
One of the beneficial outcomes of inner work is bolstering your self-confidence, which is your attitude toward yourself and your capabilities, which impacts how you show up and interact with others. When you’re confident in what makes you, YOU, you recognize and acknowledge your strengths, weaknesses, assets, and liabilities. Accepting all aspects of yourself creates alignment in your system, minimizing the need to cover up and blend into mainstream expectations. By discerning between your thoughts and what others may have impressed upon you, you can gain awareness of unanswered questions, process your thoughts and emotions to work through difficult decisions, and problem-solve. As your confidence in your capabilities grows, other people’s opinions impact you less, making you less attached to your established personas.
Success is within your reach.
There’s no one-size-fits-all regarding your career, so enjoy what is, reimagine your purpose, expand what’s working, take a detour, or start fresh to realize your dreams. As Robert Frost shared: “Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” Courage is facing difficulty, taking action, and persevering regardless of the situation. So take back your power, sharpen your emotional intelligence skills, welcome creative prospects, shift your mindset, and take small, structured steps toward your goals.
Activate your best with those around you.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you interact with others. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to inspire you. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.