Strengthening your communication competency enables you to foster effective relationships where mutual respect, understanding, and acceptance are established and both parties feel at ease.
Think about how you regularly show up and ask yourself:
“Am I present in the conversation or thinking about something else?”
“Am I listening without judgment?
“Am I considering this person’s perspective or too attached to my beliefs?”
You can determine whether you are open and willing to compromise in your discussions based on your answers. Factoring in that some conversations may include a wide array of emotions, the outcome will ultimately hinge on how messages were received, and decisions were made.
Deepen your “emotional maturity” to make meaningful connections.
When it comes to how you communicate, each moment you have a choice. You can activate your highest expression with intention or default to a lower form where you impulsively react without consideration for the other party.
Dr. Lindsay Gibson defines “Emotional maturity” as when:
“A person is capable of thinking objectively and conceptually while sustaining deep emotional connections to others.”
Likewise, psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman shares:
“Emotionally mature people are comfortable and honest about their own feelings and get along well with other people, thanks to their well-developed empathy, impulse control, and emotional intelligence.”
Furthermore, to foster reciprocity, where everyone is on equal ground—trust, openness, and honesty—are essential.
Monitor your conduct through self-awareness and reflection.
It’s unrealistic to maintain a high-vibe or peaceful state all the time. However, the more you self-reflect and acknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment, the more aware you’ll become.
One of the best times to pause and self-regulate is when you find yourself acting in an unfocused or auto-pilot type of way. By taking a step back, you can evaluate what’s going on and loosen your attachment to your persona and all the “shoulds” and “should nots” racing in your mind.
Turning inward helps you garner insight and see situations objectively, which can help you proceed in a more methodical and considerate way prior to interacting with someone else. Like a lotus flower with its water-resistant petioles, you can allow other people’s approaches to be as they are rather than letting them to get “under your skin” because you want something to be done a certain way.
Elevate your interpersonal communication competency.
You’ll know you’ve made a positive connection when your conversations flow naturally. These relationships can be quite rewarding and inspire all those involved to speak up about what’s important to them and interact in an emotionally mature way.
Here are five tips to activate your highest expression with intention:
#1 Be open and curious.
When you find yourself being literal, tied to the past, or requiring something to be your way for whatever reason, you’re closing yourself off to additional paths. For example, decisions don’t always need to be about speed and efficiency. Ask questions, collect various opinions, and gather fresh ideas to see a bigger picture and welcome in creative possibilities.
#2 Increase empathy, allowing for various emotions.
A sign of emotional maturity is recognizing and accepting that some situations are complex and people may react differently than you would. The ability to relate and inquire to understand their views is crucial. Depending on the outcome, you can assess your role and take accountability to repair the relationship if your actions may have caused tension.
#3 Encourage self-expression to foster camaraderie.
Some individuals crave “heart-to-heart” interactions where they can talk through their experiences with people who get them. When teams discard what matters to their colleagues or back away from sharing their sentiments, they may unintentionally make team members feel unappreciated or that they don’t belong. A great tool to shine a light on interpersonal needs and how conflict can occur between well-meaning people is the FIRO® assessment.
#4 Include and acknowledge others.
Whether asking someone else’s opinion, inviting them to be part of a team gathering, or just recognizing their input, make it a consistent practice to let others know you appreciate and respect what they’ve contributed, regardless of magnitude. Most people want their perspectives to be considered, rather than have them dismissed just because you disagree. As Maya Angelou famously stated, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
#5 Embrace self-care techniques to manage stress.
Early on, your brain collects cues on who you should and need to be to survive, fit in, and belong. This perception conditioned how you think and approach the world and how you react when scared, overwhelmed, or stressed. Equalizing your system entails nurturing your mind, heart, and body so they each have what they require to function at their optimal level. Addressing your limiting beliefs can help you decondition behavioral patterns that no longer serve you, minimize stress, and transform your outlook.
Activate your best and boost your well-being.
We’re all interconnected in some shape or form, and there’s no one way to live or function. With an open mindset, practice, and self-discipline, you can make small shifts to demonstrate your emotional intelligence and elevate your executive presence. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Schedule a call with me to learn more.