Harnessing your You-Ness is about connecting authentically with yourself and others in a balanced and harmonious way. When you’re confident about who you are and believe in yourself, you’re more open, honest, and resilient.
It’s common for your emotional levels to fluctuate between “high and low expressions” as you navigate your day. For instance, you may be prone to being influenced by others and unintentionally pick up their thoughts, beliefs, biases, and way of being as your own. Additionally, you can become too identified with your “persona” or “cover up” aspects of yourself and lose sight of the bigger picture, your potential, and connection to others.
A clear perspective of the past, present, and future empowers you.
Gaining clarity takes patience and discipline. You give away your personal authority when you deprioritize what’s important to you and rely too heavily on others’ approval and validations.
As you become more self-aware, you can learn ways to acknowledge, accept, heal, and modify what no longer serves you, thus embracing your best self—who you are at the core level.
Also, you may naturally gravitate to a time orientation, such as recalling the past, simulating future scenarios, or just focusing on what’s in the present moment, refraining from reflecting or planning. Regardless of which you prefer, if you remain stuck in one area, you’ll end up with diminishing returns.
An integrated approach invites you to embrace the best of all methods.
Reinvention is achievable with focus, purpose, and motivation. Dr. Dan Siegel created the term “Mindsight” to define the vast human capacity you have to alter your brain and your thoughts. He teaches the “Wheel of Awareness” to access the “plane of possibility.”
By developing the skill of mindsight and interconnectedness, you can change the structure and function of your brain and take charge of your inner world through healthy integration instead of remaining a prisoner to it. Appreciating your system, staying balanced, and handling the ups and downs are critical, especially when your environment is unstable.
To guide you, here are ways to integrate the past, present, and future to harness your YOU-Ness and welcome what-is:
Revisit the past to let go.
Turning inward allows you to get to know your system bit by bit while learning from the past. Tuning into your system—even for a few minutes—can help you release physical tension, reduce mental agitation, and ground yourself in what you value and require. When you’re reminded of the past, remember that today’s people and circumstances are different and that YOU have much more experience and skills than you had then. Listening objectively to your internal monologue, aka voices, can help you understand your belief patterns and instinctual behaviors and how they influence what you see and experience. “Letting go” is about freeing yourself from what’s holding you back, like ruminating thoughts, triggered emotions, or survival behaviors. To let go, you don’t need to know HOW. You just need to be WILLING to say goodbye to what’s troubling you, which includes accepting all parts of yourself, reclaiming your authority, and using that energy for something important.
Expand your outlook toward future possibilities.
A fresh perspective toward the future empowers you to think broadly and plan multiple scenarios. To generate ideas from various angles, get out of your head and engage with others to ask questions, brainstorm, and experiment. There are plenty of online resources to research what has been done in similar cases to whatever you’re trying. Plus, you can talk to friends, colleagues, and professional organizations to gain further insight. Then, when you’ve collected enough thoughts on what is possible, you can use the Myers-Briggs® “Zig Zag Process” to evaluate your situation. The process entails using all four mental functions in a specific order—Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling—and not just your preferred ones to help you consider all aspects.
Update your system to the present moment.
Once you’ve gathered your insight from the past and pondered the future, you can objectively assess and update your system to the present moment relative to your current necessities. Being present means focusing on what is right in front of you, albeit your work or another person, and giving it 100% of your attention. When you do this, you’ll find that your work output and relationships improve remarkably. Additionally, because your mind and body are interconnected, they are automatically impacted and respond to what is happening in and around you. Hence, how you feel continuously changes, and self-regulation becomes crucial. With an intentional pause, you can take a breath and recenter in the here and now and tap into your emotional intelligence skills. Then, you can intensify your awareness—keenly observing your surroundings and picking up on verbal and nonverbal cues from others—to determine what works best for the here and now.
There is no right or wrong when examining the past, looking toward the future, and being in the present moment. However, the more you know your preferences and go-to strategies, the more you can stretch yourself to integrate all of your time orientation aspects to shift your mindset and take small actions forward.
Deepen your perspective to activate your best.
As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to inspire you. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.