Throughout your career, there are going to be days when you don’t feel like yourself and are stressed, frustrated, tired, unmotivated, or just in some sort of funk. That is okay and to be expected. However, how you handle these moments is key.
Because if you don’t tend to them, your survival instincts may take over and potentially run havoc on your work output, confidence, and capabilities, as well as how you interpret your interactions with others. Whether you are an individual contributor or a people manager, being a leader includes managing expectations and prioritizing, so you can stay focused and sustain momentum.
When you notice yourself on autopilot, where your instinctual patterns are running the show or your emotions are in hyperdrive, think “STOP.” Dr. Marsha Linehan created this memorable acronym to help individuals increase their ability to manage distress, intense emotions, and impulses. It stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully.
Establish ways to come back to “YOU.”
The fastest way to reconnect and get grounded within yourself is by turning to your breath. Just a few deep inhales and exhales can help you center and self-regulate, especially when time is limited. Additionally, having reliable self-care practices can help you create more calm in your system so you can proactively tap into your higher expression and elevate your overall effectiveness.
In Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), he suggests that it’s not external events themselves that cause emotional concern, but instead how we interpret and react to them through our beliefs. For example, hearing yourself think or say words like must, never, or should, is considered an irrational belief where you may be setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or others.
Ellis proposes that questioning the validity of your beliefs and exploring alternative perspectives can help you replace them with more rational ones, leading to more positive outcomes for yourself and your collaborations at work.
Embody a more balanced approach through self-management.
Your system is fluid and responsive to what is happening in and around you, which is why ongoing awareness and tweaking are necessary to remain centered and take a more purposeful approach forward.
Here are five ways to become more mindful of your necessities on the job:
#1 Get clear about your values, needs, and preferences.
What you value in your career are principles that guide your choices and actions related to what you find meaningful and satisfying in your work. Your needs, on the other hand, are based on what’s vital and non-negotiable for you currently, in conjunction with your life circumstances. Just because something is right for one person doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Also, keep in mind some of your preferences are innate and never change, while others fluctuate, which can cause career conundrums. That’s why evaluating what’s important to you is a continuing effort.
#2 Create flexibility in your overall approach.
The Enneagram proposes that you have three intelligence centers—thinking, feeling, and action—aligned with your head, heart, and body. Think about how you often show up and how it may impact your well-being, and whether one of your centers are overworked or underworked. For example, being too rigid in your thinking can cause stress, whereas welcoming other people’s perspectives and pivoting in the moment could help reduce the pressure you may be putting on yourself. As you gain insight into your “default settings,” you can deploy strategies that support you in creating more harmony between your inner and outer worlds.
#3 Remind yourself of your power and resilience.
When you’re feeling stuck or boxed in a corner, remember you still have a choice about your mindset, approach, and actions that you take or not. Although you have no control over someone else’s beliefs or behaviors, you do not need to be impacted, swayed, or succumb to their way of being. Instead, you can create distance between you and them and turn your attention and energy on yourself. Resilience implies that you can adapt and work through challenges, where the experiences propel you forward.
#4 Clear the clutter to focus on priorities.
Tidying up and removing distractions can help foster an environment conducive to doing your best work. Blocking time to organize and prioritize your projects, along with all of your responsibilities and commitments you’ve made to others, can help you remain on target. Be honest and realistic about what is possible and start with the activity that energizes you. Then give it your full attention, completing as much as possible before moving to the next. Also, conducting an annual review of your career objectives can help you keep on track.
#5 Choose with confidence.
Your confidence will increase when you acknowledge and respect the skills, strengths, and talents you have that make you, YOU, rather than being overly influenced by others or focused on changing them. When you understand your feelings, you can manage your thoughts and emotions before reacting or jumping into action. As a result, you can discern the real from the perceived and be more objective and rational in your approach and decision-making, limiting the need for external input or validation, and ultimately being more direct and authentic in your communication and how you show up.
Aim for progress, not perfection.
Personal wellness and feeling at ease are not just a “nice to have.” It’s about discovering and implementing a structure that works for you. Start small and seek support if you’re uncertain how to make changes, as every person and situation is unique. And most importantly, treat yourself as patiently and kindly as you would a loved one or friend.
Activate your best with those around you.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that knowledge to how you interact with others. As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to inspire you. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.