Making any type of life/career adjustment takes desire, dedication, and discipline. It can be thrilling when embarking on something new and grueling when you find yourself stuck or returning to bad habits.
Understanding the “why” is transformative.
Most of my automatic and reactive behaviors show up when I’m exhausted, overstimulated, or stressed. All of a sudden, I’m disconnected from myself and easily sidetracked. My system goes into auto-drive, searching, finding, or overdoing. By knowing the “why” behind this behavior, I can observe and circumvent my actions and alter my focus of attention.
There’s a big difference between allowing and resisting.
When I’m unconsciously pushing or exerting my energy, I’m essentially trying to influence the situation and control the outcome.
You can determine if you’re fighting circumstances by being conscious of your emotional state and how you feel, as noted by author Esther Hicks:
“Negative emotion is your indicator of resistance, while positive emotion is your indicator of allowance. And they are on the same meter: allowance; resistance.”
I’ve also found the Beckhard-Harris Change Model a valuable tool to ascertain the root causes of my allowance and resistance.
Hurdles are meaningful learnings that provide insight and direction.
When we hold on tightly to the who, what, when, where, and how everything must happen, we’re setting up constraints and creating more obstacles. Instead of giving up or retreating at these junctures, rally your inner strength to inspire you. Additionally, look at these five truths you’ll face during change to establish healthy strategies to overcome and move forward with conviction.
Realities and expectations.
Through awareness and attention, you can notice when you’re stumbling and pause or stop what you’re doing to rebound effectively. This is when growth and transformation really start to form.
Author Stephen Pressfield shared that:
“…Sticking points are real. There’s a reason why we’re stuck and it’s usually that we’re not good enough yet to get over the particular hump that’s facing us. We need to grow. We need to learn. We’re faced with a real problem and we really have to solve it.”
Honoring the stops along the journey.
Change takes time, and there will be plenty of distractions and detours. When you’re off track and slipping back into ways that are no longer beneficial, trust the process and try out these five steps to help you persevere:
1. Reground yourself.
It’s never too late to attain your aspirations. Catch yourself when thinking about why you can’t make it work. Shift your perspective on what is possible and acknowledge that you are human with inborn traits, tendencies, and survival mechanisms. It’s hard to modify embedded habits. We need more than 2.5 years to master change, so be kind, patient, and compassionate toward yourself.
2. Recognize what prompted conflict.
A trigger is an event or experience that activates our sensitivities. Sometimes what truly bothers us is hidden and is connected to our fears, motivations, or lack of control. When your triggers are activated, view it as a sign to process what you’re feeling and try to take an objective view of the cause, situation, and inner turmoil.
Declare what you want and make your promises to yourself visible, so you see them regularly. Start small but look to do one activity daily. Although you can’t alter the past, you can make amends and learn from it. When you let go of your limiting beliefs or whatever is bothering you, you free yourself, retrieve your energy, and reclaim your power.
4. Prioritize and focus.
Whether you’re just starting or are midstream, it can be messy in the middle. Organize your approach, make realistic modifications as needed, and keep going. Create a plan and outline feasible actions to move from your current to your desired state. Boost your confidence to handle uncertainty and overcome resistance that you experience from yourself and others.
5. Celebrate every step forward.
Acknowledge your efforts consistently. Don’t beat yourself up or get angry if you miss a day in your new routine. Examine what made that happen, accept it, and begin again. Recognize how far you’ve come over a short time. If you notice any self-doubt, acknowledge it, and move on. As you do this more often, the old things that used to get in the way will disappear, and the better, brighter version of you will shine through. Success is within your reach.
Activate your best through awareness and understanding.
You can use various assessments to learn more about what makes you tick. If you’re looking for a partner to guide you, my approach is personalized and customized to meet you where you’re at in your journey. I’d be delighted to speak with you. You can schedule a free call with me using this link.