Prioritization is a process of organizing your commitments, tasks, and responsibilities in order of importance and in relation to timelines, due dates, and promises to others.
A crucial component of prioritizing is understanding your wants and needs because when you say “Yes” to one item, you’re automatically demoting or saying “No” to something else. How and what you choose can get complicated as you navigate between your preferences and obligations.
Focus on what’s in your control.
Taking ownership of living authentically means your internal system, desires, values, and goals are in harmony with your outward persona and actions. You’ll know when you’re in congruence because you’ll feel inner peace and approach your activities with certainty and determination.
Furthermore, you’ll be able to recognize what makes the most sense to achieve your goals and objectives by deploying rigor in deciding between items, i.e., “either-or” and “less is more” strategies. You can use the stop, start, continue tool to gain clarity, reclaim your authority, evaluate each item, and rank your to-dos.
Additionally, you can document what is no longer valuable or necessary. For activities connected to others’ expectations, you may need to discuss your rationale for wanting to discontinue them work and find a compromise. For new requests, sometimes, a simple “No, but thank you for thinking of me” suffices.
Rediscover what’s most important.
Throughout your life, there will always be one constant—YOU. That is why believing in yourself is paramount. Going inside allows you to “be real” with yourself and empowers you by recognizing and accepting why you continue to say “Yes” when you’d rather say “No.”
The aim is to break the automatic “Yes” pattern and introduce new habits to circumvent the issue. Shifting your perspective and transforming your outlook takes time and patience. Setting daily intentions to slow down and think through things can help you restore balance in your system and regain control of your schedule, as the quotes below suggest.
“Good things happen not by managing time but by prioritizing attention.”
– Richie Norton
“Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximizing the time we have.”
– John C. Maxwell
“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.”
– Zig Ziglar
Reclaim your personal power and find what works best for you.
Self-leadership is about getting to know yourself better and applying that insight to how you act, think, and feel to enable positive momentum. There is no right or wrong to learning new skills or transforming habits. It’s about discovering and implementing a structure that works best for you at a deliberate and repeatable pace. Start small and seek support if you’re uncertain how to begin, as every situation is unique. Adapting quickly while giving yourself time before responding are skills that can be learned.
Here are a few ways to embrace an “Either-Or” and “Less is More” strategy and help with prioritization:
#1 Understand your core motivation.
Your core motivation, the why behind why you behave the way you do, significantly impacts how you think, act, and feel. The iEQ9 Enneagram assessment looks at significant psychodynamics above and below your conscious levels. It looks at what’s behind your personality and ego. There are guiding ideas that define and drive each Enneagram Type, specifically its idealized self-image, worldview, motivation, and focus of attention. There are also the Type’s sore points and distortions that keep them stuck. These include their fixations, vulnerability (aka fear), and vices that can keep you trapped in your fixations with blind spots and triggers. By creating awareness and acceptance of your defense mechanisms, you can catch them as they emerge and stop the repeat patterns that aren’t serving you well. For example, instead of saying “Yes” immediately when your boss asks you to take care of another task, you can reply “I understand the request” and ask questions on the due date so as not to overpromise and even potentially negotiate. Or you could respond with something like, “Let me review with the team and circle back on what’s possible,” or “Given all the current projects, I may need to discuss what needs to shift to put this at the top of the list.”
#2 Boost your emotional intelligence skills.
The Emotional Intelligence Training Company highlights three emotional intelligence competencies to demonstrate your abilities to handle awkward or difficult conversations: Self-Awareness, Empathy, and Assertiveness. Self-Awareness helps you determine what you want, i.e., the most ideal outcome and what you’re willing to sacrifice for compromise. Additionally, you can monitor your narrative, emotions, and behavior. Empathy lets you focus on how others feel while creating a safe environment for all parties to speak courageously. When you’re empathetic, you can remain present and listen with positive intention regardless of what’s being said. Assertiveness is about sharing your facts objectively in an open and direct way while appreciating and respecting the other person’s perspective.
#3 Create boilerplate statements to respond to ad hoc requests and buy yourself time.
It’s wise to be honest, but you don’t need to share everything. If your answer is “no,” communicate with kindness. “No” doesn’t need to be forever. Sometimes it’s more “not now.” Either way, people may try to persuade you, especially if they have predetermined expectations. You need to stay firm and confident, even removing yourself from the discussion if necessary. Some tips to say “No” kindly include:
- “Thank you for thinking of me. However, I won’t be able to commit at this time.”
- “Unfortunately, I’m a bit crazed this week. I’m happy to help, but it will need to be next week or later in the month.”
- “Have you asked X? They are looking to get more involved.”
- If your manager is asking you to do something, say something like, “How do you see this fitting into my other projects? I may need to shift things around to accommodate this.”
Sometimes, you’ll be pleasantly surprised that someone else’s emergency request is just them getting the action off their to-do list, not necessarily something you need to act on immediately.
Find purpose in the process.
Witnessing those who are relentless in their pursuit of excellence is inspiring. They focus on putting THEIR priorities first. In a world full of many demands, getting sidetracked and delaying aspirations in support of others is easy. A critical step in taking care of yourself is blocking out the time to do so while setting up necessary boundaries that enable you to concentrate.
You activate your best when you’re self-led.
As a lifelong student, certified professional coach, and consultant, activating the best in others through self-leadership, interpersonal relations, and team dynamics are passions of mine. My approach is personalized and customized, tapping into various assessments, disciplines, modalities, and techniques. Also, check out my “Micro & Mini Service Offerings” and try one session to get started. Sign up solo or with another person or group to work on a specific exercise or activity and split the costs! Contact me to get started.